Response to Ashley's memory week 7, Week 7

Ashley,
First of all, let me say that I really see you trying to keep several of the things we've talked about in class in mind as you write this; cool prose for high emotion, trying to navigate away from sentimentality, finding the flip side of a situation (trying to see the freedom rather than the anger and abandonment), etc. I'd encourage you to take a look at how Lynch talks about suicide again, granted he doesn't relay the loss of a close family member, but his detachment could help you here. I don't think you'd want to take detachment as far as he does, but the moves he makes, his sentence structures, etc could help you with your pacing and structure. Also, think back or take a look at Jo Ann Beard's essay again. How does she handle the murder of her friends? What other experiences does she toggle between? I think this piece could definitely benefit from a toggle to take some of the immediate weight away from your uncle's suicide and distribute it throughout the piece, making the main event a more contextualized whole. Also, take a look at your language here. While you want to remain cool, you want to be wary of lapsing into the expected or cliched. Phrases like "made peace with himself," "left a broken family behind," "alone in this world," "anger blinded me," etc. may be a little expected in a piece about suicide. Try, instead, to focus on the details surrounding the event. I loved the inclusion of the Reeses and how they still sit in the refrigerator. It is details like this that are unexpected and that could help to distribute the heft of such a subject. Also, while you would have to be careful that the inclusion of your son doesn't become a little heavy-handed, I like how your describe your uncle as "fading." While a euphemism, this idea of erasure could become more architectural and could provide a different way of talking about his suicide. Does it erase him? Does it erase his pain? What could be beautiful about non-existence? Or is the fact that it is erased the problem? It's gone, but we all know it was once there. This could help you keep a lot of the reflection you are playing with here,and we all know we need to keep the reflection :), but it could give you a different frame possibility for it.