Response to Pam's Reportage Week 3, Week 3

This is an excellent example of what Dr. Davidson was talking about the other day when he said we should take the unexpected look at events, people, objects, etc. It would be one thing to write about the time a mouse scared you and you acted like a big sissy and had to have your husband come take care of it for you. While that would offer itself up to an examination of stereotypical gender roles, etc., it would also be quite expected. Writing about a mouse in this way, however, is quite a different thing. It is more unexpected and fresh, a different story than the one of dominant thought about women and mice. What I would ask of this draft, however, is WHY you saw the mouse differently? Why is the mouse only lovely in passivity, in death? Why when the mouse is "beyond the basement door" and outside of your house does it create a different response than when it scampers past your feet in your basement? Why is it interesting that you are now okay with the mouse when it is very likely that the poison you had your husband put out is what killed the mouse? In short, what is your reflection in regards to this mouse? Add that and you take this draft beyond reportage and give yourself a way to get off of the triggering subject.

Oddity, Week 3

While my husband and I were waiting for our to-go order of Chinese food the other day, a woman walked into the restaurant with her young daughter. While that in and of itself is not unusual, what I found interesting was that her daughter, who could not have been more than about nine or ten years old, looked like a complete miniature of her mother. I don’t mean that she resembled her mother in facial features, although she did, what I mean is that she wore tight jeans on her spindly, boyish legs, knee high, leather boots (I have a pair which my brother calls my hooker boots), a fitted sweater, and long chunky necklace. This ten-year-old had a small cell phone to her ear and designer sunglasses propped on top of her head, just like her mother. The one difference between her outfit and her mother’s was that the little girl had a much bigger purse than her mother’s. Her petite little figure carried a brown leather purse that my husband joked he could fit her inside of with no undue effort (and he wasn’t far off the mark). Upon closer inspection, I realized that the little girl also had on eyeliner and mascara, what looked like bronzer on her cheeks, and a shimmery lip gloss painted her lips. Truth be told, occurrences like this are not really an oddity now, but I remembered back to when I was that age and thought that the sight would most definitely have been odd then, and that was only 18 years ago.

Junkyard Quote 4, week 3

"But it's Madonna!" -friend watching the Super Bowl
What struck me about this quote is that none of the other people seemed to understand the relevance of the fact that it was Madonna. So often we say things that seem to us self-evident, but are so removed from other people's understanding and opinion that, without elaboration, the utterance means little to nothing to anyone but ourselves. In this particular case, this friend's husband replied "And?" and this friend had no response. She didn't even know why it was relevant that it was Madonna; she had no real interest or fascination with Madonna either, but as a cultural icon, apparently Madonna is supposed to carry some kind of significance. I'm starting to see, however, that in many cases dialogue can be a hazardous thing. If I were writing the scene, I would want to remain "true" to what happened and what was said, but if I were to do that in this instance, there would be a break down in communication between the story and a large portion of the would-be audience. To some "But it's Madonna!" would make perfect sense, but in many cases the reader would have the same response as my friend's husband. The importance of picking and choosing dialogue that is relevant and that does more than just directly relate the spoken word is becoming more and more apparent.

Junkyard Quote 3, Week 3

"Only dorks would name their group something no one else would even understand." "I understand it." "You're an English major; that's different." -discussion between myself and a friend about our husbands' involvement in the Society for Creative Anachronism

Junkyard Quote 2, Week 3

"He's lucky it didn't make his head into a canoe." -Chip, watching a YouTube video

Response to Brett's Memory from week 3, Week 3

Brett, I believe you said after class last week that you hadn't read a lot of contemporary poetry, but what struck me about this draft was the amazingly poetic language. Phrases like "flat panel plasmas of the bored middle class," "Circle City's crosshairs of class," "Indiana's proud blue nipple on a red conservative breast," and the entire listing following "Indy's circle stands for..." belie a great ear for poetic phrasings, techniques, and unexpected imagery. Especially the second section seemed to fall into more of a poetic cadence.
What I would like to see a little more of here, however, would be more personal details. Here you have a lot of reportage, but you hint at the apartment being your favorite, "shady deals" you've witnessed, the neighbors, and you letting out your friend's dog. These details, however, are limited. It could be interesting to hear more of why the apartment is your favorite, the specific memories there that seem to stand out in your mind. Or to hear some specifics about the "shady deals" you see. The factual details about the city and its layout are interesting and could be architectural to the piece, but could also be very interesting when juxtaposed with the more human and personal details I'm sure you could provide in later drafts.

Junkyard Quote 1, Week 3

"He was pooping rainbows for, like, three days." -Brandon, my department's IT guy